A Decade plus a Year
Eleven years ago today, my favorite person in the world took me on a hike. We climbed to the top of this peak.
It didn't turn out quite like he had planned. He had planned for beautiful hills covered in green, the glimmering waters of the Pacific ocean in the distance, and a never-to-be-forgotten sunset while on top of the world. Instead, we were shrouded in pea-soup fog. My teeth were clattering, and my nose was running like a faucet.
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes. I would love to," I said. I whispered a silent prayer that he wouldn't kiss me because, you know, SNOT NOSE. He didn't; instead, he pulled me close, and we shivered together. And I loved him a little more.
The past eleven years have been filled with times that were altogether worse than I could ever imagine and altogether more lovely than I could ever imagine. Life hasn't always gone as planned. I have shed tears of frustration. I have shed tears of pure joy. There has been an abundance of picture perfect sunsets. There has been an abundance of picture perfect sunsets obscured by pea-soup fog. My nose still runs, on occasion. And he still holds me close in the cold.
As a teen, I remember people talking about marriage. They said they weren't sure if they would have ever gotten married if they had known just how much work it would take.
They were right; it is A LOT of work.
It's not easy to learn how to communicate your deepest thoughts and deepest fears to another human being. It's not easy to forgive. It's not easy to trust. It's not easy to be kind all the time. It's not easy to rest. It's not easy to juggle babies and maintain your marriage. It just isn't easy.
But I think it's worth it.
The last 11 years have been the HARDEST, BEST years of my life.
I have found that the most fulfilling things in life are the things that cost me something. They cost me a piece of my heart, a piece of my soul, a piece of my sanity, a piece of my strength. A piece of me.
And I know if it weren't for Jesus, our marriage wouldn't be what it is. It is Jesus' love for me that whispers for me to wrap my arms around my husband when all I really want to do is scoot to the other side of the mattress and sulk. It is the power of Jesus that allows me to forgive when I have been hurt. It is the strength of Jesus that I lean on when I'm waiting. And it is Jesus that I cry out to, when I'm wanting time for "us", but instead I'm crawling out of bed for the fifth time to care for a baby that needs to be fed and toddlers that need to be comforted. (Fortunately, we're pretty much past that last challenge--that is a huge blessing.)
Jesus takes all the hard, difficult, impossible things and makes something beautiful out of them.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you that I still love climbing mountains with this man. Thank you that I still get to climb mountains with this man. Minus the runny nose part. Thank you, Jesus for this decade plus a year.
I mentioned to Brandon that today was our engagement-anniversary.
"Oh! I have a good idea. You should get us out of school early, and we can all celebrate together. We can hike up Bishop's Peak together, then have pizza together, just like you guys did."
"Yes, and it is supposed to be foggy and cold just like 11 years ago," I replied. Allan and I exchanged a glance and a chuckle. "We love you and all, but if we were celebrating, we would probably like to celebrate by ourselves. So, yeah, you're not getting out of school early. It was a good try though."
It didn't turn out quite like he had planned. He had planned for beautiful hills covered in green, the glimmering waters of the Pacific ocean in the distance, and a never-to-be-forgotten sunset while on top of the world. Instead, we were shrouded in pea-soup fog. My teeth were clattering, and my nose was running like a faucet.
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes. I would love to," I said. I whispered a silent prayer that he wouldn't kiss me because, you know, SNOT NOSE. He didn't; instead, he pulled me close, and we shivered together. And I loved him a little more.
The past eleven years have been filled with times that were altogether worse than I could ever imagine and altogether more lovely than I could ever imagine. Life hasn't always gone as planned. I have shed tears of frustration. I have shed tears of pure joy. There has been an abundance of picture perfect sunsets. There has been an abundance of picture perfect sunsets obscured by pea-soup fog. My nose still runs, on occasion. And he still holds me close in the cold.
As a teen, I remember people talking about marriage. They said they weren't sure if they would have ever gotten married if they had known just how much work it would take.
They were right; it is A LOT of work.
It's not easy to learn how to communicate your deepest thoughts and deepest fears to another human being. It's not easy to forgive. It's not easy to trust. It's not easy to be kind all the time. It's not easy to rest. It's not easy to juggle babies and maintain your marriage. It just isn't easy.
But I think it's worth it.
The last 11 years have been the HARDEST, BEST years of my life.
I have found that the most fulfilling things in life are the things that cost me something. They cost me a piece of my heart, a piece of my soul, a piece of my sanity, a piece of my strength. A piece of me.
And I know if it weren't for Jesus, our marriage wouldn't be what it is. It is Jesus' love for me that whispers for me to wrap my arms around my husband when all I really want to do is scoot to the other side of the mattress and sulk. It is the power of Jesus that allows me to forgive when I have been hurt. It is the strength of Jesus that I lean on when I'm waiting. And it is Jesus that I cry out to, when I'm wanting time for "us", but instead I'm crawling out of bed for the fifth time to care for a baby that needs to be fed and toddlers that need to be comforted. (Fortunately, we're pretty much past that last challenge--that is a huge blessing.)
Jesus takes all the hard, difficult, impossible things and makes something beautiful out of them.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you that I still love climbing mountains with this man. Thank you that I still get to climb mountains with this man. Minus the runny nose part. Thank you, Jesus for this decade plus a year.
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| Photo credit to my sis, Janelle, April 2015 |
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I mentioned to Brandon that today was our engagement-anniversary.
"Oh! I have a good idea. You should get us out of school early, and we can all celebrate together. We can hike up Bishop's Peak together, then have pizza together, just like you guys did."
"Yes, and it is supposed to be foggy and cold just like 11 years ago," I replied. Allan and I exchanged a glance and a chuckle. "We love you and all, but if we were celebrating, we would probably like to celebrate by ourselves. So, yeah, you're not getting out of school early. It was a good try though."
hahaha brandon. and geez i thought that pic was from your engagement. you guys don't age.
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