Am I Fearful of Perfect Love?

I'm a thinking kind of a girl (err...lady, I suppose).  My mom always described me to others as inquisitive.  Recently, I was quizzing my dad on something and the hubs walked up.  My dad turned to Allan and said, "So now you know what I had to deal with all those years.  Does she do this much at home?"  Allan let out a little "are you kidding me?" sound.  Something between a "ha!" and snort.

"Nightly," was his long, drawn-out reply.

I'm a bit of an analytic   Maybe a bit more than just a bit.  But today, I'm not analyzing my analytic tendencies   That might be a bit of a bore, except to a select few (i.e. Stac, Lauren, Kels, siblings?).

So, here's what I've been thinking about:  obedience.

Obedience.

The act of complying with someone else's instructions/wishes/commands.

I funneled down my thoughts and came to this conclusion.  Children (and adults) obey either out of fear, or they obey out of love.

Fear of acceptance.  Fear of correction.  Fear of _________.

I was discussing this thought with someone, and he added, "Or greed."

I thought about that some more.  And I think greed just might fit into the fear category.  Sound bizarre?   "I want that.  If I don't get that, I won't be happy.  I won't feel good."  Greed is fearing to be WITHOUT.

More than anything, I want LOVE for my children.  I want them to be motivated by love.  I want my children to be so full of love for God that they obey all of His commands.  His commands to love:  to love Him and to love those around us.

So, how do I get that for, or from, my children?

I don't.

It's  a choice.

It's a choice that God has given to each and every one of us.

I CAN'T make that choice for my children.

But I CAN choose to be so full of His love that is spills over into all aspects of my life.  Aspects like my marriage.  My friendships.  My social interactions.

And my parenting.  I can let that same love direct my instruction and correction with my children.  I can be a reflection of God's love.  It is His love that will draw them.  Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

I can trust (without fear), that God will perfectly love them.  That He will be faithful to them.  He will be gracious when I am not.  He will merciful when I am not.  He will direct them when I do not.  His love will be perfect and without end.

Is this a little too abstract?

It's all about the heart.  My heart.  My child's heart.

When my children disobey, is my correction done in love?  Or is it done in fear?  Fear that my child won't like me if I correct them.  Fear that others won't approve of me if I don't.  Fear that I won't be happy unless they are perfectly behaved (or at least well-behaved).  (Eeks!  That last one hits way too close to home.)

I can fuel their fear of "being without" (greed) by bribing them.  Or increase their fear of acceptance by ignoring them or being angry with them when they misbehave.

Or I can show them love.  Correction that is motivated by love.  By God.  By the love that Jesus showed me.  The love that Jesus showed me when I was full and fear and without love.

Fill me with Your love, Jesus.  Fill me up until I overflow!